blithering blogs!

Hello!

2005-12-05T17:41:00.000Z

Sorry I havent been around for a long time.... been distracted by doing really important things like earning money... but also practicing my new piano and writing songs! Yes me!!!

You can go see me and hear some of the songs on MySpace.com.. the hottest internet place to hang out.. I'll have you know.....

Check me out!

see you there!

something for "the Gays"....ooh thank you so much....

2005-12-05T17:09:00.000Z

Today is a historic day in Ye Olde Englande. Us poofs are being given (yeah cheers thanks) sorta marriage rights like wot heterosexual couples can get. Gay folk are able to register and application for a marriage and enjoy the same proveledges that other married couples ghave (ie no sex and lot of arguments). Interestingly the highest number of applications were from Brighton&Hove where the lovely Lelly hails from!!! 500 of them apparently... more than in the whole of our fine capital London! Incredible. (Watch out Lelly or you will turn Lesbian! )

Anyway, I can't claim to have written the remainder of the Blog entry below, but found it so spot on and spiffing that i wanted to share it with the original and best bloggers.... (if anyone actually looks at mine any more!!!)

Anyway, here it is... enjoy!

Love from Blithers x

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction, hormones, antibiotics and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage wereallowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Phwoar! What a scorcher!

2005-07-11T19:56:00.000+01:00

Inspired by Lecrams well erm.. inspiring.. post about hot weather, and the fact that we do have a bit of hot weather here too right now....

When it get over 25 degrees Celsius in this country, several things happen:
1. People quit moaning about how crap the summer is and start moaning that its too hot.

2. The tabloid newspapers run front page headlines which go something like "phwoar! What a scorcher!!" (pushing major international news of starvation, war, disaster and death to page 6)

3. Tabloid newspapers run said "Phwoar What a scorcher! story for 5 pages, including photos of people on the beach in Brighton or running around in fountains in Trafalgar square PLUS "fascinating" statistical data such as - this is the warmest day since the dinosaurs were here and that the hottest place in the UK is the runway of Heathrow airport (ooh lets go there to sunbathe...)

4. People start wondering why the Tube isnt air conditioned.... or theatres arent air conditioned... or restaurants arent air conditioned... or homes aren't air conditions... or stores aren't.....

5. People take their cardigans off

6. People have BBQs in Parks using those disposable BBQ things, and leave them on the grass when they have left

7. As all reservoirs in this country seem to be no more than puddles, there is a hose pipe ban on day one of hot weather and we are urged to leave our wee in the toilet for longer and forced to sneak out at night wearing black balaclavas to irrigate our begonias (or tree ferns)

So thats us!

Hoorah to hot weather!

2005-07-07T19:21:00.000+01:00

Lovely London!

How do we react?

2005-07-07T18:52:00.000+01:00

THe worst terrorist attack on the UK there has ever been they say. Tales of limbs being blown off, panic in the dark underground tracks not knowing how to get out or fearing that they wouldnt get out. Faced with their own death yet standing in front of the camera telling their own story. Each person has a different story. The American tourist now despoerate to go home to the States, the european tourist who had never been on the underground before today telling us her story with blackened face and a trembling lip. The nurse friend of mine who messaged me from the A&E department saying she was "working and crying intermittently".

These are people on the front line who were physically touched by the events of the day. Then there are those of us touched by the events in other ways. My own ma called this evening and began to cry at the injustice of those ordinary people on their way to work who were injured, or killed. I responded in a way that I think is quite a typical London response - "yeah it's terrible, but we were waiting for it, it was inevitable".

Like New Yorkers, who in terms of scale and numbers involved suffered monumentally more than most here in London, we are likely to remain defiant. Most will be concentrating on finding ways to get home right now, and again tomorrow morning, will be finding ways to get back into work again. To carry on as normal, keep things ticking.

I wonder if that is really right though? If we spend so much energy "getting on with it" where does all that other stuff go? Are we burying important things here? I dont believe terrorism should make us feel beaten into submission, or force us to seek raging revenge. But I do think there is room to sit and look at what we have done or how we relate to the world that has led a group of people to be so angry and to have such disregard for innocent lives. We should be looking for solutions, not just affirming our stiff upper lips and resorting to "puttting the kettle on" as if a cup of tea will wipe everything away.

But then again, maybe a cup of tea is just what we all need.

I'm still alive (I think)

2005-07-06T10:09:00.000+01:00

Hello folks, sorry for teh slackness posting-wise. No excuses, I just havent done it.

The tree fern is huge now so that story has gone off the boil. When I figure the photo thing out I'll show you if anyone is actually interested in my blithering plants!

Latest news is that I finally found me a friend who is willing to set up a blog! Hoorah!

BigBloggerBlobber

lives in Australia (thats a VERY VERY long way away you know), and is a jolly lovely mate who used to be British, but went to the dark side in search of better beaches and a billabong or two. Did she find them? Did she change her name to Sheila? Do those corks hangoing from thehats REALLY keep the pesky flies away or are they just there for show? Well find out on her blog this instant!

Other late items of news I suppose is that I attended the event of the century that was Live8 at Hyde Park. Fab day had by all and I felt quite honoured to be there, not because I was witnessing the 'world changing' but because I actually won a bloody raffle for the first time in my life! Again, onnce I get to grips with photos thingies, I'll post something up!

Two questions to end on:

1. Will George Dubbla put the mockers on the G8 summit and continue his denial that 1. Global Warming exists and 2. that Africa exists?

2. Will London win their bid to host the Olympics?

See you soon (famous last words)

Blithers x

http://bigbloggerblobber.blogspot.com/

Tazzy tree fern update...

2005-05-17T10:49:00.000+01:00

Day 11.....

...still a stump.

Have decided to call it Bernard.

Will post a photo of Bernard (pronounced English way... Burr-nudd) when Lelly gives me the gen on how the flip to do it. I'm sure you are waiting with baited blithering breath (yeah right)...

Blithers in the garden

2005-05-09T21:51:00.000+01:00

Having spied

Lecram's

latest post regarding plots and green stuff, I felt duty bound to fess up my latest interest/ obsession.

Since a fortnight hencewise ago, I have a little oasis in the centre of Londinium Pollutium, England. Where before there was nothing but dandelions, snail trails and dog poo, there now is, (wot them on telly like to term) "an outside ambience".

Initially I spent a whole weekend doing manly tasks like digging, scraping and moving bags of rubble in order to create the bare bones of the garden. (Fortunately this didnt turn out to be literally bare bones like what happened to neighbour on the left who last weekend dug up the previous owners dog in a spell of frantic gardening. Too scared to look too far into the bin bag and cushions that held the dog bones, or handle it for too long, she forewent the ceremonial re-burial and shoved it in the wheely bin.) Anyway, once the foundation had been created, I popped into a garden centre for a couple of bags of seeds to get me started and managed to fill the trolley withing about 15 minutes with £160 worth of plants! Eeeek!

Star of the show is my Tazmanian tree fern, which cost me £70 and resembles a brown furry stump... but a stump that holds the promise of gently unfurling soft fern leaves in the coming days....

....Day 3 and its still a stump. Faithfully moistened daily as instructed on dangling lable...no pressure then... In fact I seem to water the bloody garden all the blithering time, even if it has tittled with rain all day. I think I am obsessed - I'm often to be found crunching up and down the slate chipping path watching over my various fledgelings..... I think its love......

Wild aligators and Grade 4 Pianoforte....

2005-05-06T00:11:00.000+01:00

Lelly

, my good friend, has helped me clamber back into blogland... but only just. I have spent far too long trying to regain control of my profile and it has felt like trying to tame a wild aligator by wrestling it into submission.

It's official, I am stupid - not even my 3 A'levels, BSC degree, cycling proficiency, 100metres breaststroke certificate and Grade 4 Pianoforte can save me now.

Any road up, if anyone has managed to keep up with my change of blogname and username and display name, I have abandoned Mince_pie_in_the_eye for a more onomatopoeic one. I hope it is politely descriptive of my current feeling towards blogs and blogville. I no longer feel like a mince pie, in the eye or otherwise. You can stick mince pies in a pastry case and glaze it for all I care.

While all this wrestling was going on, my venetian blind fell down all over my desk. Judging by the mushroom cloud that followed, I think it had been groaning under the weight of dust for quite sime time and finally threw itself at me as a cry for help. As a result, I am squinting for England which is likely to lead to a wrinkled forehead and a requirement for surgery by the time I am 40.

Grumbling aside, I thought bloggers in my immediate circle, woudl like to know about a BBC competition for comedy writing. Top UK comedy writers have half written a sitcom and you are invited to finish it. I guess it may lead to a top writing job for the BBC, or at the very least it woud be a real laugh to have a go at. I wondered if my dear and hysterically funny chum Lelly would like to co-write something? I suspect its more difficult than one might think.... I'm sure our American friend would be able to confirm.....

OK, folks, I'm off to get the blind fixed.. or shall I get surgery?.....erm......

Lord of the Mince pies...the return to Blog....

2005-05-05T19:16:00.000+01:00

Well, friends. I gave up on Mince pie in the eye as I lost the plot on how to get in and out of it. I will probably lose it with this too so please expect a different name every time I post.

I wont go on, as I may lose it all again.